What does it mean that the pause between stimulus and response?

There is a gap between experiencing something and reacting — you can learn to widen it.

Example: A teammate posts a code review comment that reads: 'This approach is fundamentally wrong.' Your chest tightens. Your fingers start typing a defensive reply. But you've trained the pause — so you notice the tightening, set the laptop down, and come back in ten minutes. When you reread the comment, you see they explained a valid architectural concern. Your response addresses the concern instead of the tone. Same stimulus. Completely different outcome.

Try this: Choose one recurring trigger — a type of email, a Slack message pattern, a meeting dynamic that reliably produces a reactive impulse in you. For the next five occurrences, insert a physical pause before responding: close the laptop lid, stand up, or set a literal timer for 90 seconds. After the pause, write down what you noticed during the gap. Track whether your eventual response differed from your initial impulse.