What does it mean that interpersonal patterns?

Recurring dynamics in relationships reveal your relational templates.

Example: You notice that every new manager eventually frustrates you in the same way — they seem supportive at first, then withdraw when you need direction. You've had four managers in five years and told yourself each one was uniquely disappointing. But the pattern isn't about them. It's about an expectation template you carry into every authority relationship: seek approval, interpret distance as rejection, withdraw before you can be let down. Once you see the template, you can decide whether to keep running it.

Try this: Pick three significant relationships — one personal, one professional, one that ended. For each, write down: (1) how it started, (2) what role you played, (3) the recurring tension, and (4) how it ended or where it currently sits. Now look across all three. What role do you default to? What tension keeps reappearing? Name the template in one sentence: 'In relationships, I tend to ___.' That sentence is your first relational pattern object.