When the same value is violated across 3+ independent contexts, it's core — not situational

Why This Is a Rule

A value violated in one context might be situational — specific to that relationship, job, or environment. A value violated across three or more independent contexts is structural — it's part of your operating system, not a response to a particular situation. The three-context threshold distinguishes core values (stable across environments) from situational preferences (context-dependent reactions).

"I felt resentful when my manager interrupted me" might reflect a situational frustration with that specific manager. "I felt resentful when interrupted in a meeting, when my partner talked over me, and when a client dismissed my analysis" — the same value (being heard/respected) violated across three independent contexts reveals a core value. It's not about any one relationship; it's about a fundamental need that travels with you.

Core values require architectural protection (boundaries, environment design, role selection) because they'll be violated in any context that doesn't honor them. Situational preferences require local negotiation within specific relationships or environments. The distinction determines whether you need to change the specific situation or whether you need to ensure the value is honored across all situations.

When This Fires

• After accumulating multiple resentment records (Four-step resentment protocol: notice it, identify the trigger, name the violated value, write it down) and looking for patterns
• During values clarification when distinguishing permanent values from temporary frustrations
• When deciding whether a values conflict requires changing the situation or changing yourself
• Complements Extract values from recurring conditions across 5+ peak experiences — the conditions matter, not the surface activities (peak experience extraction) with the resentment-based confirmation

Common Failure Mode

Treating situational frustrations as core values: "I was annoyed at work three times this week about the messy kitchen — cleanliness must be a core value!" Three occurrences in the same context doesn't count — the contexts must be independent. Resentment about kitchen cleanliness at work, at home, and at a friend's house → potentially core. Resentment about the same kitchen → situational.

The Protocol

(1) Review accumulated resentment records (Four-step resentment protocol: notice it, identify the trigger, name the violated value, write it down). Group by violated value. (2) For each value that appears multiple times, check: are the contexts independent? Different relationships, different environments, different situations? (3) If the same value appears in 3+ independent contexts → classify as core value. This value is part of your identity and needs protection across all environments. (4) If a value appears multiple times but only in one context → classify as situational. Address within that specific relationship or environment. (5) Core values become inputs to life design decisions: career selection, relationship maintenance, boundary setting, environment optimization. They're non-negotiable constraints, not preferences to trade.